Gifts Sent With a Purpose

Decode

2011-07-12T23:45:00.002+08:00

How can I decide what's right?
When you're clouding up my mind...
I can't win your losing fight
All the time...

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well?
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know....

{I'm screaming, I love you so
But my thoughts you can't decode}

There is something I see in you
It might kill me but I want it to be true......

~ Hand in Hand ~

2010-11-01T22:10:00.002+08:00

big, little and mini stones fill up the well, disallowing the water flow

thoughts, deep and shallow build up within

trying to make the best out of every resource we have, out of every little bit we share

hoping that this grueling path will end soon and not long after, we can see the light at the end

tough as it may seem but beauty is in its simplicity

we share the load together & stride alongside against the odds

determined to reap the fruits we sow

My Darh Darh

2009-07-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

Today I'm dedicating this post to my one and only love...

U're like the shining star in my life,

Happiness is what I always want to give you

Coz in my eyes, u're like a child but an ever growing one

I hope to grow old with you,

to love you in my arms,

to trust u wholeheartedly...

Darh darh I want u to know that i trust u and I fully do trust you

if in anyway I made u feel unhappy or made u doubt my love and trust to you

I sincerely apologise coz u mean the world to me and I treasure u alot..

Hope 1 day u can understand and know how I feel towards u

My Darh darh I LOVE YOU and I hope u do too

Queen of his heart

2008-06-16T22:48:00.001+08:00

Our love, ever so endearing...

Our souls, ever so connected...

Our hearts, ever so linked...

I'm his Queen in his heart,

His Lovely Wife to walk down the aisle..

This special man catches me breathless,

With every word he speaks,

Every little gaze in my way..

His heart burns like fire

With utmost love & desire..

He draws me to him

Like the attraction of the north & south pole

He's been with me all this while

And i'm truly thankful for him,

For He is My Love, My Everything

Happy Birthday Baby

Big muack

-interrupted-

2007-10-20T11:28:00.000+08:00

messy things going through my mind now

chains abinding, grasping each breath

realising harsh reality can also fall apart

feelin like we've missed out on everything

drifting by the bay

recollecting the past

Forever Love

2007-05-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

Within my heart you remain

Where Warmth & Love contain

Share your significant moments with me

Share your darkest secret with me

I'll gladly reach out to you

Be there with you each passing day

I seek comfort with the man by my side

Wandering eyes don't look any further

Your strong arms around me

Reaffirming your love for me with every word u speak

Your words are kind & ever so true

Taking me to the skies above

I'm in heaven, feels like heaven

To me, nothing matters more

I seize the moment

Wanting to capture every memory

In our imaginary scrapbook of love

We replayed our sweetness

Mended our past heartaches

Emerging stronger than before

Happy 2.3.2

Darh darh you're simply the best thing in my life

I dedicate my love to you

Always & Forever

Happy New Year ---> Welcoming 2007

2007-01-09T16:14:00.000+08:00

Life's like a road that you travel on

When there's one day here

the next day's gone

Sometimes you bend sometimes you stand

Sometimes you turn your back to the wind

There's a world outside every darkened door

Where blues won't haunt you anymore

Where the brave, the free and lovers soar

Taking stride in the pace of life

Steering it towards our own direction

Looking back at past accomplishments

Wishing we could bring them along with us

To make up for our setbacks

To offset times of disappointment

Our desire to preserve

A form of denial about our own mortality

Seeking for a form of proxy immortality somehow through it all

But in LIFE,

The willingness of acceptance would be the most highly valued of all.

For 2007, I shall stick to this quote by Samuel Johnson [letter, 1859]

"Example is always more efficacious than precept."

Hereby, wishing all readers a Happy 2007 and may it be a Wonderful & Blessed year ~ Whatever you can do, or believe you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.~

Strive On!

p.s. Darh darh hehe thought this pic was really cute nahx keke xP like ur botak head hehe muacks! big muack ^-^

2nd Xmas Spent with Darh darh <3

2006-12-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

Couching together in the bus 80

Lookin' thru the window pane to gaze at the midnight sky

Stars looking exceptionally beautiful on this christmas night

My darh darh turned to plant a kiss on my lips

"Merry Christmas" was what he said

At that split second, emotions engulfed me

And thoughts ran through my head

I looked into his eyes and tears just trickled from my eyes

I know only he knows the reason why

I replied, "Merry Christmas Darh Darh"

I know I am going to Love this Man beside me for Life

**~ Merry Christmas! I hope you not only got what you've been wanting all year long but you spent it with the most important people in your life. For me, hehe Yes I did <3 ~**

A Shoulder to Cry On

2006-11-23T11:38:00.000+08:00

A Shoulder To Cry On - Tommy Page

Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....

Windstruck - Knocking on Heaven's Door

2006-11-23T10:40:00.000+08:00

Reminiscing on a movie that I really loved

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTdbZbh7ues&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QBqT4WJo5I&mode=related&search=

BK Love - MC Sniper

-translation-

Did you know of my heart? Of the days
that I spent really thinking of only you?
However as my heart for you grew as much as possible
I had to have a even harder time. I had to fall into the fire.
Now because I am worn out, I don't have the confidence to look at you.
Yea, I hate myself too for wanting to act selfish by turning my back on you and running away.
However I found out too late, when I knew that I found out that I liked you.
But then it was too late, everything had changed.
I, who was so poor, had lost all the confidence and strength to talk to you.
But I felt awkward about myself for thinking that, that was fine like that.
I really didn't know that this would be this hard until now.
I realized it too late.

All of this will probably sound like an explanation to you, but my love was only you.
Yea, you must know just this one thing, that there is no one who can love you as much as I.
All of this will probably sound like an explanation to you, but my love was only you.
Yea, you must know just this one thing, that there is no one who can love you as much as I.

To me who is turned around looking at you,
there is now more sadness. Oh baby.
I can't let go of the finished love.
I can't cry over the sadness. Oh baby, please.

The saddened voice of my friend washes over my heart.
The ended love story that was already wrong to begin with.
I can't even ask of the pain of my friend and the
sadness I can't understand, so I sing a song.
You really loved that girl who was like a flower petal, and for
her you spent alot of time alone, preparing love.
The tears that you shed so that that one flower could bloom,
could not protect the light and so
the flower became dirt and blew away.
As you passed the many days and nights with a sigh
The last thought of decision comes to conclusion roughly.
That by no means does the end of love for her, for you come easily.
Always you all's love that was never granted,
meets up there in the sky as two lights.
You will become a shooting star drawn in the sky and in the
next life that love will surely be granted, I pray.

My friend still loves that girl.
However for her, my friend says he's going to leave.
When I think that this is love, I can't breathe.
So my friend must still be crying. "bk"

To me who is turned around looking at you,
there is now more sadness. Oh baby.
I can't let go of the finished love.
I can't cry over the sadness. Oh baby, please.

Specially for him

2006-10-25T17:47:00.000+08:00

My darh darh is unwell and all I can do is pray for him and hope that he gets better each day

Livin' in camp & going outfield would be grueling for him given his current state

It pains me so to see him this way though he keeps insisting that he will "Endure coz he loves me"

Take good care my Darh Darh

And yes, I Love You too *big muack*

p.s. Darh darh I'm just like the cute lil' Kao-Anis below, I know U'll get better soon! JiaYou my Love!

Worried --->
Hopeful --->
A Kiss to Get Well --->
Jia You Jia Jia You!--->
Darh Darh is well le! Yeah Yeah Darh Darh let's brave through Rain Or Shine TOGETHER <3

Revive me

2006-10-20T09:52:00.000+08:00

can't seem to find myself these days

don't know what I'm doing nor what I'm heading at

totally lost in this strange world

sadness engulfed me like never before

everything seems to be at stake

how cruel can life treat me

how could all this be happening to me

embrace

2006-09-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

walking around... in my own place

vapid images I see through my eyes of glass

pondering the reason for it all

then i realised it was the emptiness dat surged out of me

yet the attachment i feel amidst his presence

engenders my heart to embrace it all

Very First....

2006-09-18T11:36:00.000+08:00

Still feels like the first time

to stand here by your side

together regardless

we'll walk through the darkness

still feels like the first day of my life

musing _

2006-09-13T11:05:00.000+08:00

delicate time beads rolling over the quick sand

gently wasting away half of my day

flashes of his caricature passes my mind

as i fondly recalls all of our memories

waiting in equanimity for his homecoming

to fall into his arms once again

as long as the fire remains~

2006-09-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

someone who sees like a child

gives like a saint

feels like an angel

never mind the broken wings

and speaks like a picture

cries like the rain

shines like the star

as long as the fire remains

my possession

2006-09-06T11:07:00.000+08:00

missin' somethin?

ain't anyone missin' somethin as much as i did?

being kept in my possession has never been easy

let me return you your right to live

如果你已经不能控制每天想我一次

如果你因为我而诚实

如果你看我的电影听我爱的CD

如果你能带我一起旅行

如果你决定跟随感觉为爱勇敢一次

如果你说我们有彼此

如果你会开始相信这般变爱心情

如果你能给我如果的事

我只要你一件如果的事

我会奋不顾身地去爱你

it takes more than a heartbeat.... to get me

2006-09-04T11:27:00.000+08:00

calming down to a surreal state of mind

losin' it all to this twilight

random checks on my thoughts and feels

the beating heart paces through our sands of time

Hold her, and tell her everythings gonna be fine

Sleepwalk into my dreams

2006-08-30T18:14:00.000+08:00

Sleepwalker, don't be shy

Now don't open your eyes tonight

You'll be the one that defends my life

While I'm dead asleep dreamin'

Let me in, let me drown or learn how to swim

Just don't leave me at the window

I could be the one to be your next best friend

You may need someone to hold you

Sleepwalker, take this knife

You may see someone tonight

You'd be the one that saves my life

When I'm dead asleep dreamin'

I'm in your movie and everyone looks sad

But I can hear you, your voice, the laughtrack

But you never saw my best scene

The one where I sleep

Sleepwalk into your dreams

Now, sleepwalker, what's my line

It's only a matter of time

Until I learn to open up my eyes

The sleepwalker in me

And God only knows that I've tried

simple bliss^

2006-08-10T10:29:00.000+08:00

midnight is beckoning

cricket sounds breaks the silence

sitting on a cozy bench

our worlds are drawn closer

murmuring words of love and assurance

faith is what we hold so dear

grapsed tightly hand in hand

our rings symbolise the sign of our love

looking through your tired eyes

i see you adoring me

with every breath i take

with every word u speak

with every kiss we give

our love is strengthened each and every time

white head shoe old a lingo we use

just to keep our bond within

p.s. darh darh, your heart is safe with me and yes, mine and yours are stuck together big muack

feels good to know u're with me

2006-08-03T12:44:00.000+08:00

hordes of people walking by

footsteps compose the sound of haste

coming through the midst of crowd

i see a familiar silhouette emanate

eyes of which I recognise so clear

smile of which bring fond memories

he is reaching out to me

beckoning me to come forth

warmth is what was felt at first touch

i held close to him, oh so dearly

as i look into his brown eyes of charm

a sweet allurement draws me near

a tender kiss resides upon my lips

love encompasses our delicate souls

building up a world we call our OWN

p.s. darh darh this poem is dedicated to u de hehe thought it doesn't rhyme but i hope u like it keke and 1 ice-cream for u, 1 for me hehe (courtesy from Patrick) xP love ya big muack!

happy moments coming along

2006-07-24T11:45:00.000+08:00

When somebody loves me,

Everything is beautiful

Every hour spent together

Lives within my heart

Just him and me together,

I know it is all meant to be

Happy 1.5.1 to you my beloved darh
(p.s. Darh darh i know you'll see this, and I shall take this opportunity to say
I Love U)

A place in your heart

2006-07-21T16:21:00.000+08:00

Save me a place

In the heart of your hearts

When you think of love

Never forsake me

'
'
'

Something tells me

This is love that surrounds

Only a fool

Without wisdom can see

Blind as I am

In your eyes

'
'
'

Mysteries hold you

Then fly you away

Tears escape from me

When we're apart

My thoughts and wishes

Are all that surrounds

Please Save me, save me

A place in your heart

i'm so lost, pls find me.... darh?

2006-07-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

What's wrong, What's wrong now?

Too many, too many problems

Don't know where she belongs

Where she belongs

With no place to go

No place to go

To dry her eyes

Broken inside

She can't find her place

She's losing her faith

She's falling from grace

She's all over the place

she's lost..... inside

......

2006-07-19T10:12:00.000+08:00

Footsteps outside somewhere below
'
'
'
The world revolves I let it go
'
'
'
The world doesn't understand
'
'
'
But I grow stronger in your hands

Our love is strong and bonded

2006-07-18T11:37:00.000+08:00

Say you love me with every waking moment,

Say you need me with you here, beside you...

Say you need me with you now and always...

Promise me that all you say is true

let me lead you from your solitude....

anywhere you go, let me go too

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime...

say the word and I will follow you...

Say you love me...

Love me - that's all I ask of you...

Should've, Would've, Could've

2006-06-03T10:39:00.000+08:00

sorry i said all those hurting words

it torments me too

so much so u wouldn't know

Understanding ~ Mutuality (Lil' somethin we shared)

2006-04-15T15:31:00.000+08:00

When you love someone,

it's natural, not demanding

And that's one thing i'm proud to say

i've found in you

I'm so glad we've reached an understanding

Now i know my heart is safe with you

And there's nothing in the world that could come between us

We're together, And i'm filled with LOVE

1.1.23 <3

1.1.17

2006-04-09T12:22:00.000+08:00

A Beautiful enchantment

a Lovely reception

an Endearing aftertaste

a Subjective mind

how could one resist the fact that behind every beautiful enchantment lies a wicked truth - Sorrow

it is once quoted " Happiness comes with a price to pay"

I seriously dont like this phrase

Yet, undoubtedly,

Without experiencing pain and sadness,

One could not truly appreciate happiness, ain't it?

time passes, but the heart stood still

2006-02-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

been in the mood for blogging, yet again

i've suddenly come to sorta understand my true self better

ya, much better

i feel kept..

it's like i really wanna go abroad..

get a life out there and perhaps discover the more independent part of me

but the other half of me is hesitating..

the will power ain't that strong now as i'm typing..

it was perhaps a thought and a very rash decision that i made at that spur of moment

i wonder if i'll ever do it..

i'll miss people, ya i guess i would..

hmm but as time goes by, perhaps like they said, can erase many memories, thoughts, feelings about everythin that u have held upon so dearly

i want a change of life

perhaps a new environment would help, ya, pretty much

hmm i felt stagnant.. yup.. but now i'm fine

i just couldn't understand why i could feel immense emotions about everythin so quickly and let it off so swiftly as well

it's just me...

being emotive is seriously a real big problem, at least that's how i feel.. i've been bringing pressure and stress to the people around me whenever emotions get in the way..

and after which, pretty much coaxing, advising, scolding would help a great deal

and as soon as i could pick myself up, the next moment i could trip again..

it's just like karma

but i really wanted so badly to at least change a lil of myself so that i won't be having lotsa 'rubbish' thoughts running thru my mind every now and then..

it's really difficult when u are feelin dis way yet noone understands and even if anyone tried to, u wouldn't let them..

i just wanna sit alone, think alone, and keep it to myself

so much so that many tings that i have in mind could not be comprehended by any confidante of mine, if i did have one to begin with...

i admit i do have caring friends, people who are there when i seek comfort, love and warmth..

perhaps i just wanna be selfish this time around and keep it hush hush

contradicting eh? hahah i felt funny after i typed the previous line, oh crap..

ha if i were to keep mum, y am i writing here?

hmmm i just wanna let it out perhaps blogger did help me vent some of my inner uneasiness that can be felt, but ain't heard...

Love,
Selfish Janice

back in my life ^^

2006-01-18T17:09:00.000+08:00

it's always when u experienced lost,

then would one be able to understand the meaning of cherish

it ain't that hard to keep to a promise

in circumstances when the heart is willing

so let bygones be bygones,

i know my smile would re-appear again

only when u're by my side

and you are... definitely here with me *smiles*

lost

2006-01-13T11:48:00.000+08:00

my darh's lost

no news, no nothin'

where'd he go...............

sigh.

i'm worried sick

unanswered....

2006-01-12T21:44:00.000+08:00

he never did answer my call

he switched off the other phone too

but why.......

i know it's selfish if i say that it's all his fault

had i not known,

had i not said,

all's well

rain has been pouring today

so much so it drowned my heart

sis said i think too much

it has something to do with my attitude about my life

about myself

low confidence

low self morale

she reminded me of somethin important

"what u see is what u get"

i shouldn't think/read too much into certain things

i wanted to talk

felt much better after sis talked to me

yet all i get is a dialing tone

with an unanswered response

i value this relationship alot

does he?

what i see is what i get

the truth will come to light one day

i guess we need time to cool down

to think

am i not supposed to think?

sis said "you asked for it"

and yeah, i agree on that

if not for myself,

my own desire to be with him,

my own foot steppin right into it,

i guess i wouldn't have to endure all this

i can't deny he made me happy, he sure did...

my heart hurts

but i'll be fine, i know i'll be

Scarred Angel

down :~

2006-01-11T16:41:00.000+08:00

i cried today.. no need for reasons,
simply by looking at what's in front of me
i know i'd get teary

i wonder why sometimes people play with hearts
is that really fun?

why am i so disappointed?
why am i so upset?
i can't control these tears
and they just kept falling

was it u whom i really thought i knew?
or was it just a facade?

i don't want an actor in my life
why am i so unlikeable?
why do people always wanna choose?
why am i not at the top of it all?

i thought i was a nice girl
i really thought so.....
don't turn your back around me
stop pretending..
it's all lies in e end
it's all fake
it was just me and my own wishful thinking

i thought i was a nice girl
i really thought so....
some people just won't change
even if you thought they were close to u

we're always almost here
so near........ yet u had to go so far
till i couldn't recognise u
i couldn't........

how could u do this to me
u said u won't
but yet u did it again
am i not pretty enough?
is my heart too broken?
do i cry too much?
am i too outspoken?
don't i make u laugh?
should i try it harder?
why do u see right thru me........................................

2006 New Year ~ New Hopes

2006-01-06T16:31:00.000+08:00

keke i'm really happy this year

it started off really well

with my jim darh darh accompanying me on NYE 2005

keke so it marks a special year for us

and we're gonna spend many many years together

like this, yeah.. heheh

happened to take note of this quote

"The more a man learns, The more he sees his ignorance"

it was printed on the bubble tea sticker label hee

and i truly feel that this should be my favourite quote this year

yupx i shall carry this in mind for the year 2006

realised that i've grown

somehow or rather, i can feel it

and but of course, my new year resolution is to lose weight

gotta get slim and in shape dis year

it's a Must i will ganbatte!

haha today's entry is all about me,

don't mind my blabberings,

i'm just speaking my mind

What a Lovely 2006!

it's a big world out there... it sure is :)

2006-01-05T15:59:00.000+08:00

been raining and yet sun's out again
hehehe felt this was nice, keke

"knock on heaven's door, perhaps i can find thunder god residing in it
i'll ask him"

Me: "did rain drink too much yesterday, resulting in slow action?"

Thunder God: "nope, the shining sun god has gone on a break, will be checking back in soon, TAKE 5! and perhaps a lil more..."

Me: "but why didn't rain take actions while the shining... God is gone?"

Thunder God: "Cox rain god has been pouring out his woes to me and forgot his duty"

Me: "nah rain god's a bitch, it rained for less than 10mins and wet my whole living room instantly!"

heh interesting piece of smth which i like to jot down ha, some random blabberings, to be precise, kinda seems like pathetic nonsense anyway, dis usually comes when i haven't been blogging for quite some time though hehehe

been trying to act like a weather forecaster today, thought of smth interesting
RAIN = Heaven's Tears?
i thought it was a nice way to put it, eloquently.
but was enlightened in one way or another.. hmm it's actually kinda hypocritical to associate heaven with tears...
i thought.....
and thought..
and thought....
finally yeah, i agreed.

Heaven is a place though unknown to me
brings much happiness
helps end sufferings
fluttering angels and butterflies
candy canes and sweet memories
purest of love
furnished with many sheets of white
puffy white clouds floating pass all year around

that's my definition of heaven,
a place full of hope and love
home for the purest of hearts
;
;
;
;
;
;
;
Tears - Droplets of Pain
expressions of misery
feeling of lost
shadowy hearts
black, black and grey
the invisible paint of sadness that fades into the darkness

If there is so much hurt in tears, do people in heaven cry?
if they do, is that what we term as rain?

i'm confused.......
let's hope for a rainbow *fingers crossed*

everythin' i feel about me and you

2005-11-21T13:15:00.000+08:00

How long does it take for u to truly understand someone?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I guess it takes a lifetime

*~Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd once never been
All the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away~*

my Happy Birthday

2005-10-20T12:53:00.000+08:00

heheh today's post is kinda mandatory.. as i've realised dat i haven been updating my blog since sept.. keke my birthday has just passed..
did a rather grand yet simple celebration so to speak.. called a few friends along i.e. close ones and with my family and relatives..

Initially i was kinda perked up + agitated + disappointed + happy.. talkin abt a whole lot of mixed up emotions cramped up inside though due to certain scenarios that took place n yupx if u're waiting for me to let u in on wat those were.. i'd rather don't remind myself of any of them *hiack*

but ultimately,i managed to scrape thru' it all hehehe with darh darh accompanying me thru it, coaxing me and cheering me up.. thanks a mil!~

Here, I would like to thank those who made e effort to drop by my chalet and spend dis special occasion with me..

Namely, REMUS (thanks for stayin over though i kinda couldn't make a better host but still am touched by ur presence) ;

JEREMY (thanks 4 ur minnie plushi n e starry necklace, they were reali cute, cheers to our friendship)

HUIJING (thanks for all e joy u've brought everywhere u go, my proclaimed sunshine girl ^^)

WEE KIONG (thanks for makin e chalet alot livelier with ur crappy jokes xP)

KELVIN (thanks for being here and sorta accompanyin my sis when she's bored)

MEGAN (thanks sis 4 e lovely guess wallets u've got for me, aww.. u shldn't hv.. m using one now already xP)

PAULINE (thanks so much 4 e levi's bag n bracelet, preety in pinK^^)

YANFEN, RUIQI, XIUMEI, JAIME, HUIMIN, WENHUI, JOHN, JACKY, CHEE KENG, ZHIYAO
(thanks for stayin over and taking care of me when i hurt my leg, though everyone was reali frantic n it made me reali scared *cant help cryin u see* thanks for assuring me and comfortin me when i need help e most.. thanks so much^^)

ANDREW (thanks for comin despite ur bz schedule to celebrate wif me, i know u're really tired)

WILFRED (thanks for ur presence and hey dude, nothin can't be solved so jux let ur mind or ur heart rule wat u do, it all depends on u now)

AND TO MY FAMILY AND RELATIVES : Thanks for coming over and sharing my birthday joy wif me although i was kinda late and u guys had to wait, so sorry xP

With Lots of Love,
Janice yeah i'm 21!

Your Heart In Mine, Mine in Yours

2005-09-30T14:32:00.000+08:00

Many a time,

we humans aren't totally rational people.. nah not at all

especially when it comes to matters of the heart..

Our hearts are ruled by our emotions

or should I say our hearts reflect the purest and most genuine side of us that no other can see or feel

Our facial expressions can't possibly allow others to decipher our current state of mind, it would be too shallow for one to do so

We all hide our true meanings n our true identities within...

Well, if you really wanna know how that person feels or how dis person reacts to your behaviour, look into the eye...

if you can see a slight spark or a shun or the multiple times of batting eyelashes, perhaps you could find an answer...

At this pt, i suddenly thought of somethin' interesting

yeah.. a question for U

Would U wanna be a SHOOTING STAR or a SHINING STAR that hangs way up high always?

It's almost as equivalent as choosing between being at the time of your life for ONCE and then fade to dark or to be like a guardian angel, always consistent, always watching over...

Which would U choose?

I'd choose to be a Guardian Angel who has had the Time of My Life

-One more chance to be as ONE-

2005-09-25T15:26:00.000+08:00

i've decided

he loves me

we've decided

to stay as ONE

on the basis of LOVE

the Purest of Love

fa||en-

2005-09-25T13:59:00.000+08:00

Heaven bent to take my hand

And leave me all alone

Home ain't how it used to be

Love ain't how it seems

U ain't how i see

Hope dangles on a String

Love fallen behind

Because of U

I learnt to be strong

Simple Bliss a.k.a. My Xiao Xiao Xing Fu

2005-09-10T16:28:00.000+08:00

I miss you kimi no hitomi
I love you ukandeiru

I miss you~ your eyes
I love you~ is floating in my mind

Kokoro kimi ni tsutaetai
Kimi no egao itsumo mitsumeraretara

I want to tell you, from my heart
If I was able to look at your smile forever

Kokoro kara kimi wo ai shiteru
Kimi ni furu hikari wo atsumete agetai
Subete I for you

I love you from my heart
I want to collect the light that falls on you
Everything is I for you

- Importance of ONE -

2005-09-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

Life's a game
U win or U lose
In my game,
I'm kinda losin it
Losin the feel
Losin the grip
Losin the drive
Losin the soul within

I finally realised the importance of being One
being One with yourself
being One with your loved ones
being One with him
I wanna feel the belonging again

Take me in your arms
I promise I will soar to the skies above
Pluck a piece of the rainbow
And entrust it to U

swallow me and SPIT me out

-cheers to 6mths of bliss~

2005-08-26T17:26:00.000+08:00

hey it's me again
yupx.. bloggin' once again
hmmm 23/8/05 was our 6months anniversary
darh was really sweet
He actually gave me a bouquet of pink roses
Am really glad to hold the bouquet & walking around
Felt so in love
darh also gave me our pen
keke he engraved it [ J & J 23.02.05 ]
This pen means alot to me
I guess it means alot to him as well
I love my darh so much^^

Lately been lovin` these lyrics

" I tear my heart open,
I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
The scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel "

* an excerpt from the song Scars - Papa Roach*

wo de tong hua gu shi li.......

2005-08-11T17:18:00.000+08:00

wang le you duo jiu
****************
zai mei ting dao ni
****************
dui wo shuo ni zui ai de gu shi
**************************
wo xiang le hen jiu
****************
wo kai shi huang le
*****************
shi bu shi wo you zuo cuo le shen me
********************************
ni ku zhao dui wo shuo
********************
tong hua li du shi pian ren de
*************************
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
***************************
ye xu ni bu hui dong
******************
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
**********************
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le
*********************************
wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li ni ai de na ge tian shi
**********************************************
zhang kai shuang shou bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
***********************************************
ni yao xiang xin xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
******************************************************
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju
**********************
yi qi xie wo men de jie ju
**********************

http://www.lcbtv.com/flash/movie/tonghua.swf

p.s. do fairytales exist?

what a sweet surprise~

2005-08-03T11:03:00.000+08:00

hehe darh woke up from his sleep today
msg me just to wake me up
short & sweet

*Lovin' Jim*

p.s. Pic of Innuyasha & Kagome (loVely)

brooding............~

2005-08-02T10:28:00.000+08:00

i realised no amount of words can describe the way i feel deep inside
i realised i can't express myself really well
perhaps even i myself don't know exactly how i feel
i wonder what i'm feeling
i'm easily contented
dat's wat many said
and as for me, perhaps i reali am..
isn't that supposed to be good?

*~ diminished to ashes ~*

Not my day....................

2005-07-27T15:13:00.000+08:00

hmm made stupid mistakes today...
didn't mail out document to m'sia..
never got scolded
but felt so affected 4 e whole day
sigh.. i don't really blog abt my daily life de..
but this time arnd, i'm jux blabbering n complaining at the same time...
dotz .. dotz.. dotz..
sian 1/2
sorry abt the language
heck it anyway

listening to myself.......

2005-07-26T12:42:00.000+08:00

To be honest,

I'm not really sure what I wanna blog in this entry here

hmmm what i'm feeling is kinda composed but smeared with unresolved troubles...

it seems like i'm lost in a tranquil place

yet caught up in a disconcerted soul

*~ i love the most that u first loved me ~*

what i have... my much cherished possessions~*

2005-07-22T14:59:00.000+08:00

in my life, half-way thru' it i guess
hmm i feel that it's really time to just sit down and reflect upon the many possessions that are termed as "MINE"
things that I usually overlook or neglect,
people that I don't usually express my gratitude to,
yet these are the very things that have always been just beside me all along
It's not that I don't see them, it's just that I labelled them as "Left Untouched"
Things that I miss out
Things that I know will always be around my side are just the ones that i kept aside in the corners
Little do I know, they're just hidden beneath my shadows
Following me thru' every path I take
Subconsciously, I seem to heed its guidance and feel its presence
Just that I don't seem to show that I really care and acknowledge its importance all along
Here, I'd like to take this opportunity to give thanks to my parents.. yes my mum and dad
they're the ones who have supported me all along, never did let me go
sometimes I do quarrel with them, blaming them for being so unreasonable but deep down, actually I do know the reason for them to behave the way they are
they know i'm still a child despite my age
they still wanna provide me with the shelter and protection
this is their responsibility as parents and yet I still want to deprive them of giving such priviledged attention to me
As I mature, I understand their hard work and I recognise their Love for me
So I'd really like to say a big thank you to my wonderful parents for their overpouring and selfless love for me. Love You, Dad and Mum :) My most Cherished Possessions

p.s. thanks for taking such good care of me when i was sick that day.. thanks for taking time to pick me from office, bringing me to the doctor's and cooling my forehead with cold towel.. Deeply appreciated.. Heartfelt gratitude for all these years of Tender Loving Care...

-Gifts....U're closer to Me-

2005-07-13T10:06:00.000+08:00

i wonder how do u define a gift?
decided to blog this entry on gifts when i stole a glance of my blog title ie. Gifts Sent With A Purpose
I wonder why have I chosen this as my blog title..
What was I feeling back then?
hmm..hmmm.. I dunno and i dun wish to recollect
yes as I was saying about today's entry
hmm a gift..
Something that is tangible or intangible
U choose your own definition
Tangible gifts - The ones that U'd receive with Joy and perhaps set it aside after a while, keeping them in a corner, perhaps even left untouched a few yrs later
Intangible gifts - The ones that U'd receive also with Joy but this time around, these gifts stay on forever, not chucked aside but placed straight in your heart.

Many gifts I've received and collected along the way
Some with purposes, some purely sincere
I must thank God for all the wonderful gifts that have been bestowed upon me
Making my world all so beautiful

Gifts are truly desirable
They make U feel wanted, accepted and loved
I've always wanted lots of gifts
But if i have to choose between tangible & intangible ones
I'd certainly want more gifts that I can't touch but feel
Yes special gifts only felt by me,
Noone can see them, noone can snatch them away
Only given to me,
Acknowledged by me
And I shall be the sole recipient
I tink i sound kinda self-centred here
But these gifts are unique and close to my heart
So only I can unwrap them and reveal the goodness within

From here, I'd like to do a shout-out to my dearest jim

"darh thanks for all the lovely gifts u've given me
some cuddly, some beautiful, some meaningful
there is one gift which I've received from u in which u urself might not know it
and that special gift is the virtue of understanding
All along, perhaps i'm an only child so I tend to be reali selfish and self-centred
I've never reali considered much for others
yeah.. jux like a spoilt brat, an overgrown child
but when i'm with u i begin to understand that there are more things that i need to think about and look after other than myself, my own interests and my own world
i've learnt to put myself in others' positions
and think for them in their viewpt
things which i may have neglected previously
things which mean so much to others and yet i overlooked their importance due to my own self pursuit of interest i.e. getting what i want at perhaps other's expense
hmmm yupx i reali did learn
and this is the special gift u've really given me all along
I'm truly happy for this
Thank you.
In time to come, I'd receive even more gifts from U
and I'd keep safe them all in my heart
All the special lil things will carve the jim i see in front of me
hehe and i'd be glad to know U much better than i ever thought i could :)
I Love You"

Missin U

2005-07-06T17:08:00.000+08:00

U look into my eyes

Whispering the sweetest of words to me

Seeing the glow lighting up within

Trustin the star that hangs up above

Seeing the You in Me

Seeing Us as One

Lookin thru our hearts

We do beat as One

Can U feel it too?

I'ma missing U

-Be Yourself-

2005-07-04T14:11:00.000+08:00

it's just at this pt of time when leaves fall
to make way for the shedding of new ones
to let rebirth
i don't wish to hibernate anymore
I've been in a deep sleep all along...
time to wake up :)

How it seems to me-

2005-07-03T15:22:00.000+08:00

Do efforts neccessarily pay off?
Can there be a gauge or measure of what is deemed as more or less in love contribution?
Can we compare amongst one another how much each is worth?
Do u feel u're being treated unfairly?
Do u feel that u're being diminished
of less importance?

Believe in Love
It is kind.......

blank-

2005-06-30T15:15:00.000+08:00

today whizzed past me like e wind..

i wonder what am i feeling all along

what I do know is true feelings can't hide

i know what i want and i will try my best

it doesn't really matter if i have to put in more effort

nor does it really matter if i get a lil disappointed along the way

what matters most is that the ultimate destination is our happiness

i care totally about how he feels

to the extent that i may neglect self

but so long as he's happy

i believe i will be

-Emancipation-

2005-06-12T13:28:00.000+08:00

ever felt caught up in a situation?
messed up with your feelings?
wondering which way to go?
tip : always look for the light
n follow it thru

naive me~

2005-06-05T08:32:00.000+08:00

i realise there are some things i cant control
all things are finite
there are certainly things i wish i did say
i wish i can do to make it all better
from the past to present
i've always been living as dictated
a life that was meant to be a fulfilling one
became something so superficial
the limit of my language marks the limit of my world
what i speak is embedded within the kinda person i've become
moulded by people who are/were a part of me before
i cant go to e future
or do u think it even exists?
time passes and slowly things do reveal
the innermost part of me
the real me that's hidden underneath it all
i regret many things and encounters i had in the past
yet those bittersweet memories are here to stay
somehow or rather
there seems to be a playback
u'd find that many things in life
happen almost identically
yet the reasons behind aint exactly similar
sometimes i wish i can learn the truth
to see myself in a different light
to view things around me as beautiful
is that what one means by optimism?
perhaps.. just a perspective..
perhaps.. just a state of mind in which people choose to allow themselves to stay happy
to be contented with the things in life
to overcome the shallow fear deep within us
to engulf all the sadness that has built up
to be a stronger individual
thru this mirror of fallacy
the truth still remains
we all hurt inside
what we do is merely a form of denial
fv did tell me before
he can cry without feeling sad
but to think about it
i always thought my tears are indeed my expressions of the inner me
i cry because i need help
i cry because i seek concern
i cry.....
perhaps simply because i just had to
i think fv's right

Real Love~*

2005-06-03T18:14:00.000+08:00

just read a bk yesterday
it's abt e difference btw real love n imitation love
somehow or rather after reading that bk
i felt enlightened yeah
it's like all the time ppl are experiencing imitation love
and it is this imitation love that we usually crave for instead
to differentiate btw these 2
there are only two phrases used for analysis
think about them, u might be awaken

Real Love
"I care about how U feel"

Imitation Love
"You make me feel happy"

If one is experiencing real love,
there will not be disappointment nor anger
simply becoz we're not expecting anything from our partners
our love is pure n unconditional
with it then can we embark on the route to fulfilling happiness

If one is experiencing imitation love,
we get temperamental, upset with our partners, blame them for not treating u the way u want them to, vent our anger on them
becoz we're expecting the same amount of effort from them
and when we don't get anything in return or less of our expectations,
we get disappointed
yet in the 1st place, are we supposed to have any expectations?
this is a point to ponder about
If u truly love your partner,
isn't it supposed to be unconditional?
so long as he/she is happy
u'd feel it too
even without "gaining" anything in return
that's LOVE without no conditions, no qualms whatsoever

p.s. though this perspective seems kinda ideal, i believe we'll get to see the light someday when we really sit back n think about how we have "loved" a person before, it makes u wonder did u ever fall in love or was it a conditional love that was bounded between the two of u?

i'll end with my quote that i truly believe in :-
*~LOVE is when the other person's happiness is as essential as yours~*

Longing... for the tenderness within

2005-06-02T10:43:00.000+08:00

hide me in a corner

shield me from the dark

bring me to the light

let me feel the warmth

the warmth i longed for

deep inside

i seek shelter

yet a part of me lingers on

i'm throwin that stone

thru your open door

and the halls seem to tell me I am wrong

remember that wall where we used to hide

and the world seemed so dark and cold outside

nobody's home

and I feel lost inside

there's a clock counting down what's left of time

when you're all alone

it's easy to hesitate

-I regret tomorrow more than yesterday-

~happY thoughts fillin` uP~

2005-05-23T11:42:00.000+08:00

it's ouR 3rd month anniversary today

time really flies i suppose

keke it seems like we just knew each other only yesterday

despite me being in e midst of my exams,

my darh never fails to accompany me whenever i wish to see him

i really appreciate all e effort he has put into dis` rship

dis i quote from his words "i work hard in evrythin` esp our rship"

i'm deeply touched by ur ever so caring + doting-ness towards me

it's like i can really literally feel your love in my hands

i love everythin` abt u

and i truly believe we can walk thru` e sands of time together

i love u jim

-imPerfect, highly manipulatable-

2005-05-19T16:45:00.000+08:00

i'm not a perfect person

i fall, i shudder, i cry

but believe me,

everythin happens for a reason

take my photo off the wall
if it just won't sing for u

2005-05-12T09:40:00.000+08:00

my heart is a shield and I won't let it down
I am so afraid to fail so I won't even try
how can I say I'm alive

if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
I deserve nothing more than I get
Cos nothing I have is truly mine

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try

Don't look at me.........

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly,
it's hard to breathe
Now and then,
I get insecure
From all the fame,
I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful
no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

pls Dont....................................................................

2005-05-06T09:07:00.000+08:00

hmmm here's just some excerpts of songs which i have been tuning to lately
i messed them up, puttin parts of which i felt were really nice here
hope u guys who really do read my blog will like pieces of these which can actually sorta make up reflections of myself :)

Missy Higgins - Scar

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more?
And so that I do remember to never go that far,
Could you leave me with a scar?
I think I realized just in time,
although my old self was hard to find
You bathe me in your finest wine
but I'll never give you mine
'Cos I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me, did you think we'd all dream the same?

Lindsay Lohan - Over

I watched the walls around me crumble
But its not like that will build em up again
So here's your last change for redemption
So take it while it lasts because it will end
And my tears are turning into time
I've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye
Because the world is spinning and I'm still living
It wont be right if were not in it together
Tell me that it's over
And i'll be the first to go
Don't want to be the last to know
Don't want to be the one to chase you
But at the same time your the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
And the more I try to feel the less I'm whole

Daniel Bedingfield - Nothing Hurts Like Love

Broken hearts, broken dreams,
There's just some things love brings
When you learn that its all the lie you cry

Simple Plan - Untitled

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

Eminem - Mockingbird

I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now
But hey, what daddy always tell you?
Straighten up little soldier
Stiffen up that upper lip
What you crying about?
You got me
Well I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had
I can see you're sad,
even when you smile,
even when you laugh
I can see it in your eyes,
deep inside you want to cry
Cuz you're scared, I ain't there?
Daddy's with you in your prayers
No more crying, wipe them tears
We're all we got in this world
When it spins, when it swirls
I try to keep you sheltered from it
but somehow it seems
The harder that I try to do that,
the more it backfires on me
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did
But it's just something we have no control over
and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream
Now hush little baby, don't you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady,
i told yaDaddy's here to hold ya through the night
I know mommy's not here right now
and we don't know why
We feel how we feel inside
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby
But i promise momma's gon' be alright
And if you ask me to
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird
I'mma give you the world
I'mma buy a diamond ring for you
I'mma sing for you
I'll do anything for you to see you smile

Delta Goodrem - Almost There
(feat. Brian McFadden)

Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you
Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?
But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here
I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me
Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you
But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind i'd left you
And when I hold you
your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

Howie Day - Collide

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Dont stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind...

Beautiful.. all so beautiful~*

2005-04-26T15:58:00.000+08:00

i've never really thought of such beauty actually lies within this complex ideology of love
in times of uncertainty
it is always a consolation to feel love from someone u hold so dear
it's like an angel guiding your way thru the darkness
bringing U to a place where u can call home
reside in it
make it somewhere only u both know
it's such simple bliss
which makes ppl wanna fall in love over n over again just to feel this way
to feel a sense of belonging
to feel utmost security
to be assured that no matter what u do
that special one will always stand by U
I call thee my guardian angel
whom i can rely
relate my innermost thoughts
confide with
and share our highs n lows together
though it's just e beginning
there's a long way ahead which we must continue through
hand in hand
and finally reach our destination
where commitments & responsibilities await
i believe with time
can it prove the value of our love
as the days go by
let each moment be cherished
let time be our judge
to conclude our happy ending
yes, just like a fairytale
we live happily ever after :)

RainBow after the Rain~*

2005-04-17T01:08:00.000+08:00

somewhere over the rainbow

U & I

somewhere over the rainbow

we're gonna be just fine

p.s. I LOVE U Jim darh :)

23 daYs & cOunting^^^^

2005-03-17T11:56:00.000+08:00

keke hello all
hmm been long time since i blog
heh thanks sharlene for e reminder in my guestbook *ooPs*
keke.. yupx heh my exams ended on 8th mar
so kinda been slackin all e way till now.. heh stil slacking though xP
hmm yupx kinda feeling super lovey dovey dis time arnd
ya n i bet onli darh can make me feel dis way
keke as i said
he's e sun in e day
and my star at nite
always there shining out for me
keke jux a re-cap on yest
keke he bought me roses ha xP red ones while i was eating my ice-cream keke
so Swt of him xP
e roses are resting beside e yellow duckie now hehe
perFect maTch*
p.s. at least i tot so hehe
ya so much 4 e re-cap keke
usually i dun blog on daily happenings de but tot i'd pen some of these swt swt lil tings down keke *bLushi* heh
tink i'm gettin reali kiddy lately
hahahah beri ger ger ha like a young lil ger in loVe ha
which in e actual fact i aint *sObz* ha wished i was younger :P
hmm felt like i wanna pen a poem for my darh jim
entitled [Someone Like U]

-Someone Like U-

Just a Gentle Whisper
Tells me U are near
Silences unveil
Your sweet Love so dear
Lifting me higher
To the distances above
Transcending through the sands of time
I know I am safe
Resting in your loving embrace
We'll carve Our journey through
And find Our destiny
Coz with U I have no fear
Trust and Love are which that draw US near
Looking at your dark brown eyes
I know I find Peace within
Looking at My hand held in Yours
I know these belong to Whom I seek
Keeping Your heart locked in Mine
I'll always be True to My Dearest Jim

*White Head Shoe Old*
p.s. Dedicated to Darh Darh

i'm in love <3

2005-03-03T18:11:00.000+08:00

23/2/05

e day my love came into my life

i never really thought i would feel love anymore

sounds illogical rite?

but yeah.. dis was what i always felt

dis time

it's someone who came thru e darkness n shone e light upon me

bringin me to life

though we knew each other not long

but once he entered my life

it's pure happiness

every min every sec

love is felt, spoken n heard

i can't actually describe wat i feel inside

though as many will say it's e honeymoon period

i just want dis to be for eternity

for real

God i shall leave my fate in your hands

pls grant us bliss

if we're meant to be

we will be

Janice h.a.p.p.i.l.y in l.o.v.e

-Broken-

2005-02-15T18:35:00.000+08:00

Step by step
heart to heart
left right left
We all fall down
like toy soldiers
Bit by bit
torn apart
we never win
But the battle wages on
for toy soldiers

took a long journey home today

realised amidst e laughter, e gamblings, e greetings, e surrounding company

i'd still fall back down

so deep down

into e world of my own

detached, unseen, unfeeling

a grey spot filled with so much of my tears, my neva-been-revealed thoughts

my empty hopes, my greatest fears, my deepest memories

within it held

every part of me

dangles on the thin line

i wanna be included

i wanna go into e world out there

i try to break through

i try to adapt

i try to make believe i'm part of it all

part of your world

but reality ruled me out

slowly truths became lies

pros turned to cons

patches turned to torn bits

seeing all wonderful things past me by

i could not re-capture any of them

i could not bear to think about it all

i have to close my eyes

releasing myself back to e darkness i belong

yet within it

the most innocent soul yearns to be recognised

every step she takes hurts

like everytime her heart pricks

with each teardrop

with each relived sorrow

replicating every scenario

in her head time n time again

i dedicate this to her

may she be loved

i've always wondered y skies are blue
why birds fly high
why clouds are white
and then i realised
it was all meant to be
this way
noone bothers to explain
noone can provide a reason
it was all meant to be

Missing - Evanescance

2005-01-31T15:58:00.000+08:00

Please, please forgive me, but I won't be whole again.
Maybe someday you'll look up, in many conscious you'll say to no-one.
Isn't something missing?
You won't cry for my absence I know, you forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant, am I so insignificant.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't some one missing me?
Now I would sacrifice, you won't try for me not now though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me, but I won't be whole again
I know what you do to yourself ??
Deep and quiet.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't some one missing me?
Now I would sacrifice, you won't try for me not now though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.
Isn't some one missing me?
And if I breathe, I'll breathe, only you don't care.
And if I sleep, just to dream of you, I'll wake without you there.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something, even though I would sacrifice you won't try for me not now though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't some one missing me…?

2005-01-30T17:41:00.000+08:00

packed my stuff today,
found a piece of poem i wrote in 1997
guess it's e 1st poem i ever wrote
gonna share it here - Uncut

Goodbye My Friends

Doves fly high
Time past by
U went home that day
I cried...

Your hand was holding me tight
I remember
U helped me whenever I needed U
Your kindness and concern
Really touched me

U made me feel happy even if I am sad
And made me your best friend
U took care of me and warmth my heart with
Your friendship

Till when will u return
To talk to me again
Like when we used to be
In my memory...

p.s. realise that there's no end rhyme n no internal rhyme, totally raw.. but felt it was a really nice piece of work fr me @ 13.. Hope ya enjoyed ;)

-Me... Recalling-

2005-01-28T10:58:00.000+08:00

28/1
i'm too ashamed to blog dis entry
pls relate dis msg to ID
so that e words can get to him
It's already written that today will be one to remember
In heaven's name why are you walking away
I had to cry today
Couldn't even dream of u last nite
Cant even catch a glimpse
I wonder what i'm feeling But
On this special day of Yours
I've got no place to hide
Amidst the crowd
I remain invisible
U gotta be happy dear
U hv to be
I'm givin it all up
Don't let me down
Happy Birthday
Do U hear Me?
Guess my words are fading
I'm sorry
I still cherish all the tings we had together
i guess i shall leave it all blank now

SV

-Change is the ONLY Constant-

2005-01-22T13:13:00.000+08:00

Nothing lasts forever
Even the most beautiful flower has to wither
The most loving heart has to stop beating one day
The most selfless person has to walk on by
The most assuring words have to be forgotten
The most captivating memories have to be erased
Out of Sight
Out of Mind
It is only at this point in Time
When U have reached The Point of No Return
That U wished to change whatever U had
To embrace all the Nothingness Within

~Dedicated to ppl whom i've Found n Lost :_(

-SkippiNg arnd-

2005-01-16T15:58:00.000+08:00

hehe realised my mood for today is kinda happy ;)

so decided to just write somethin in here

hmmm... actually i don't really know what exactly to write when i'm in a cheerful state..

hmm.. shall try now..

Sailing past e ocean
Waving frantically to e ones i loved most
Moving along fr shore to shore
Keeping my smile fr time to time
Pieces of U hv swept me by
Residing in my hands are what's left behind
Perpetual memories locked in shells
Buried by the sands of time
Follow the footprints, don't give a doubt
Each step u take, leads u near
Think of me as u walk
U'll soon find out
I'm right behind... :)

yeah, i'm happy today

-The Other Heaven-

2005-01-15T13:55:00.000+08:00

i wonder if u know
how it really feels
to feel left out
i wonder if u are searching for the Other Heaven
just like me
helpless yet longing to belong
in which phase should we begin with?
issit fantasy or reality that we trust?
someone came along
delivered the answer to me
and i know it's really nothing but the illusions
that haunted me through
from the past to the present
it doesn't wish to let go of me
i don't wanna abandon it
bring me to the Other Heaven
that's when i'll find U smiling
smiling at me
with the most innocent pair of eyes
looking down at me
holding my hand
leading me to Never-Never Land

U think it's perfect
Everything is so fine
Until U Look Into Your Spiritual Eyes

-FlyNDance-

2005-01-12T14:40:00.000+08:00

does the title ring a bell?

yeah.. i miss the story that was once told

so pure n true...

'If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house.
Do I have a million? No. That's why I don't have a house.
If I have wings, I can fly.
Do I have wings? No. So I can never fly.
If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean, It still can't put off the flame of love between us. Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn finished?
No. That's why I don't love u.'
-Slorr-

'If I have one more day to live,I want to be your girlfriend.
Do I have one more day? No.Too bad. I can't be your girlfriend...Not in this life.
If I have wings, I want to fly down from Paradise just to see you.
Do I have wings? No. Sadly, I can never see you again.
If all the water is drawn out of the bath-tub, it still can't put off the flame of love between us. Can all the water in the bath-tub be drawn off?
Yes. So, yes. I LOVE YOU.
-FlyNDance-

Dolce Vita

-at peace-

2005-01-09T18:41:00.000+08:00

un-do the things that hurt

un-speak the words that mattered

un-cry the tears that fell

un-trust the feelings that meant

un-break the heart that loved

it ain't that hard after all

when u're taking each breath at peace

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I've waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

I laugh, I feel, I make believe it's real
I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees
I hope, I stand, I take it like a man
I try as hard as I can

-Heal e World-

2005-01-08T11:50:00.000+08:00

uncertanties unveiled

predominantly unrivalled Mother Nature

Mankind concede defeat

suffering souls seek for shelter

helpless ones yearn for survival

the tsunami tragedy claimed numerous lives

let us pray

for the sake of our children

for the lives of the missing

for the convalesce of the wounded

and for the persistance of the living

Heal The World

-Drifting away-

2005-01-07T09:44:00.000+08:00

i'm adoring you
it's all good
you're so beautiful
i'm black and blue all over
you're breaking my flow
how could u know what i'm saying about it
when all of my clothes feel like somebody's old-throwaways
i don't like it
it's good to be in love
it really does suit u
just like everything
i'm happy you're in love
coz every colour goes where u do
why's it happening?
how's it happening? (without me)

guess i'm just being drifted along these days

ppl coaxing me to move on

ppl nudging past me

images of everything i could remember

slowly passed me by as well

i guess it's true

time really allowed everyone to forget a lil' bit of everything as it passes

what u wish to remember

u have to forget, like it or not

pieces of memories just slip through the sands of time

be it good or bad

i guess it did help many many ppl to pull through difficult situations

but if u had the chance,

do u wanna remember it all?

i wish i could

but i'm slowly drifting away...

~ i will travel back in time
if only for a chance
to rewind us back
when we were one ~

-Well wishing-

2005-01-06T10:02:00.000+08:00

when u try to see things in a clearer light

please ignore what u can see on the surface

cause' hidden beneath lies something that the naked eye can't see

it has to be felt

deep within

everybody hurts but who admits to it?

i do

~~Praying for a place to let wounded souls reside~~

-Yet again-

2005-01-05T13:48:00.000+08:00

gotten the answer that i expected to hear yesterday

it's always the case

when someone's unsure of what we're really feeling

we denied it all

n assumed it'll pass

but the truth remains

it's not the hurt nor the pain that lingers on

it's the memory that's haunting each n every single innocent soul

can't things be made simpler?

if only we could be honest with thy self

and that some things just won't pass...

~~it's alright, i'm okay, i think God can explain~~

below's a story i'd like to share:-

One day an old man boarded a bus.
As he was going up the steps, one of his shoes slipped off.
The door closed and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it.
The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it out of the window.
A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could not help going up to the old man and asking, "I noticed what you did, sir. Whydid you throw out your other shoe?"
The old man promptly replied, "So thatwhoever finds them will be able to use them. "

The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life - do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or because you do not wish ohers to have it.
We lose things all the time. The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives.
We should not always assume that losing something is bad, because if things do not shift, we'll never become better people or experience better things.
That's not to say of course that we only lose "bad" things; it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the interchange between loss and gain is necessary.
Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go.
The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his shoe.
Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a better pair of shoes for the old man.
Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead the old man to a great benefactor.
Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more.
Whatever the reason, we can't avoid losing things.
The old man understood this.
One of his shoes had gone out of his reach.
The remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection from the ground.
Hoarding possessions does nothing to make theworld better for us.
We all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their course in our lives or would be better off with others.
We then have to master the courage to give them away.
God bless all....

Lesson learnt in e yr 2004 (flashback)

2005-01-01T17:12:00.000+08:00

decided to blog on smth meaningful today.. realised that i blog smth reali depressing in my previous entry "-Eve-" ya so i gotta make up to it by blogging smth which i feel rounds up the yr of 2004...

it's really a meaningful yr for me, a simple yet bumpy yr in which i had to uncover truths of my own.. bit by bit.. painful n exhausting..

really glad to talk to meh meh again n appreciate his concern at e pt in time, heard he's attached with her finally.. guess that was his ultimate wish all along n it's been fulfilled.. I'm happy for him fr e bottom of my heart

lost wm in e end.. it has never been so hurting to me before.. i guess i really lost a true confidante.. memories i'd still keep, for these r e ones i've always wanted to let stay by my side as i move along..

TMS n KKS story ended this yr too.. life went as per normal aft e separation in which noone will be reminded of ever again..

JH is here to stay... the person who really cared for me all along, hidden behind the shadows.. I've made him come to light, i thank him for the persistent yet silent support all thru the 3 yrs n forever more..

"buddy" abandoned me, never did expect the selfishness he possessed wld outrule our friendship.. nevertheless, i'll always remember the karaoke times we shared...

Kel n Fab.. wonderful frens i made in sim.. emotional n complex thinkers.. we hv a common struggle - to emerge as a better person strong enough yet always true to thy heart

Sotong, JW, HX, Dizzy n EV... classified under same category.. never did try to understand n c the other side of me that i was trying to portray.. pity but still alright

YF n RQ --> gd frens who saw me thru alot of tings.. heard my nags, my woes, my cries... never wanted anyone else to c dis side of me .. Really thankful for the warmth n friendship i gained

HM, XM n J --> my JC clique, though i don't pour out all my sorrows nor allowed them to c a totally weak n faltered side of me.. i know that they'd b here for me whenever i needed someone.. Sincere ppl i've found thru my life

Ke-ni... unfeeling fren i.e. very ice-cold person who's changed fr someone like me to e present determined n focussed person.. been thru a lot n seen thru tings, met wif obstacles that perhaps none of those of similar age had encountered..

HJ.. a really chirpy ger wif smiles all over her.. so true n happy.. someone i wished to b like.. someone i can always perk myself up when i see her :D --> see this expression hehe

Idyll --> Got dis identity on 12/11/04

Big Baby.. the greatest xmas gift for e yr 2004.. no need for any words i guess.. it's self explanatory

**there goes my round up of e yr (oh ya jux remembered smth : my quote in 2004 "Ignore the ones that adore u, adore the ones that ignore u) i don't wish to carry dis quote along with me, coz it's really harsh.. i wanna bring this quote with me in e yr 2005 "Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own"

and finally e lesson i've learnt thru it all in 2004 is to always remember the goods in ppl instead of e bads.. Y do i say so? More oftenly, ppl neglect the gds whenever they spot on smth bad that the person has done n encrypt this flaw onto the person. I don't wish to reminisce on the past this way.. I don't wanna remember how this person has failed me, how that person ill-treated me, how the other person betrayed me.. Dis can only lead to a recurring pain everytime u think about it.. I just wanna keep the goods in all of the ppl who walked on by, just for memory sake n not torment myself further with immense sadness n self-pity brought upon by hurting encounters from the past.. Here, i just hope ppl who r reading my blog to really reflect upon these words that i've written n perhaps be more magnaimous for the sake of self n the others :)

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried.
For only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

-Eve-

2005-01-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

stayed home

waited for well wishes

found emptiness

disappointment

yet again

-From this moment on~

2004-12-29T13:59:00.000+08:00

thanks for e warmth n comfort u've given me
thanks for e mutuality we share
thanks for that special moment
thanks for the creation of christmas
thanks for ur presence in my life :)

IF`

2004-12-21T17:25:00.000+08:00

if a picture can paint a thousand words,
then y can't i paint U?
the words will never show
the U i've come to know...

in life, there're not many "IF"s that u can pursue
i just hope that e things i've lost,
i'll be able to acquire them back in another way i guess...
i should already be happy now
but... there's always a but
that's e bad side of me
that really is...
yet i can't avoid it at all
it's just tearing me apart
i wished i could just say smth
smth strong enough to make me leave
but when e words get jumbled up
when e lips wouldn't part
when u can't speak nothing at all
there's really no need for any words...

i couldn't tell u
y she felt that way
she felt it everyday
but i couldn't help her
i just watched her make the same mistakes again

-I've never been to me-

2004-12-13T10:04:00.000+08:00

sometimes i really wonder what u'll see when u look up above
can it be clouds, the sun or the moon and stars?
but sometimes, just sometimes, i can only see dark clouds
perhaps it's the rainy season
perhaps it's the sun being blocked out
or just perhaps i didn't wanna look down
to see raindrops trickling down

i've been to Paradise but i've never been to Me

-Someday We'll Know-

2004-11-29T11:25:00.000+08:00

in the midst of silence

in the midst of despair

when all else fails

u know u've got a friend

it seems like the first time

everything was just true, true

where has it all gone?

some say it's being thrown out of the window

some say it's the rain washing it away hastiliy

some say it's like broken pieces which can never be mend

others just say it has gone hiding

behind each smile

behind every masked facade

immersed within one's fallacy

i'd scurry for shelter

the cold is unbearable

hoping to catch a glimpse

of the silver lining amidst e dark clouds

do i see u coming from afar?

or was it all my illusion?

the shadow's blurring

i don't see noone at all

the rain has stopped

i feel the slightest pat on my head

a raindrop has come to say gdbye

i looked up at e brightly lit sky

someday we'll know, why i wasn't meant for you

-Let Go-

2004-11-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

We're too much alike
For our own good
We both hate fighting
No matter how misunderstood
I want to tell you
you're stubborn
I want to tell you
I never lied about how i felt
And I want to know
What happened to that friend of mine
I know you hate me
I see that now
If I was unhappy
I'd be someone you could still care about
I think it's stupid and sad
Everything turned out so bad
And enemies make the most interesting friends
I'm gonna write you a long letter
I'm gonna get you on the telephone
Three little words to make it all better
Maybe I'll leave this whole thing alone

yeah... as e title suggests.. i let it go.. i let it all pass now..

i've given myself n him more chances than one...

Yet disappointment was felt everytime i tried

it pricked, it hurt but it is finalised now..

i guess it's time i pick up e pieces of shattered hopes

ya.. i did move on..

I'll let u go now

Idyll's with me

It's my identity

-Some expressions hiding inside e gnarled me-

2004-11-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

I went out to the forest
I caught A hundred thousand fireflies
As they ricochet round the room
They remind me of your starry eyes.
Someone else's might not have made me so sad
But this is the worst night I ever had
'Cause I'm afraid of the dark without you close to me

Why do we keep shrieking,
When we mean soft things?
We should be whispering all the time

Every day I write the list
Of reasons why I still believe they do exist
A thousand beautiful things
And even though it's hard to see
The glass is full and not half empty

Light me up like the sun
To cool down with your rain
I never want to close my eyes again

I thank you for the air to breathe
The heart to beat
The eyes to see again
And all the things that's been and done
The battle's won
The good and bad in everyone
This is mine to remember
So here i go again
Singin' by your window
Pickin' up the pieces of what's left to find

Stayed away for quite some time
and things have changed like a decade.
Made the most of all my days, and still I'm on the wrong page.
Now I'm home and feeling more alone.
It's in your tone, so maybe I should go...

I'd tell you to come back now,
but we've gone too far
And we've burned it out
now I don't even try
But I feel you're gone
I guess I've always known
I'd be on my own
I don't blame you, and I know I'm not your friend
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't know how to back down
I never fit in, I don't belong
But you know it doesn't matter when we're feeling strong...

-Mine-

2004-10-27T13:33:00.000+08:00

Eva wondered how it's like to c a squirrel upside down?
Eva wondered how it's like to lie on a slide wif ur head facing e ground?
Eva wondered how it's like to be sitting in a cosy corner in an elephant?
Eva wondered how it's like to see e light fr a hole amidst e darkness?
Eva wondered how it's like to be able to be freed fr everythin yet stil clinging to e dark corners?
Eva wondered how it's like to feel peaceful n calm when all's still?
Eva wondered how it's like to be in a world of ur own where all bad memories r totally erased?
Eva wondered how it's like to listen to e sound of e train bringing us back to e city?

I know how it's like...
I felt it yesterday...
And it's all Mine to keep :)

"Ignore e Ones Who Adore U, Adore e Ones Who Ignore U"

-Fly-

2004-10-25T15:13:00.000+08:00

One day i'll fly away..

To e Highest part on earth..

To e times when i was happy..

To e arms i soley wanna enthrust myself in..

To e river of no return..

To e delightful sky i was promised way back then..

--fr e cheerful girl in estrangement--

p.s. How can all dis b fulfilled without me?

fOrgiVen~

2004-10-18T16:23:00.000+08:00

forGiven mySelf to believe in words,

fOrgiven myself to believe in existence,

fOrgiven myself to believe in promises,

fOrgiven myself to believe in feelings,

fOrgiven myself to believe in trust,

fOrgiven myself to believe in fate...

Adia i do believe i failed you
Adia i know i let you down
Don't you know i tried so hard to love you in my way
It's easy let it go

Adia i'm empty since you left me
Trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone to see where we went wrong
Cause there's no one left to finger
There's no one here to blame
There's no one left to talk to honey
And there ain't no one to buy our innocence
Cause we are born innocent
Believe me Adia
We are still innocent
It's easy we all falter
Does it matter

Adia i thought we could make it
But i know i can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
A friend who won't betray
I pull you from your tower
i take away your pain
And show you all the beauty you possess
If you'd only let yourself believe that
We are born innocent
Believe me adia
We are still innocent
It's easy we all falter
Does it matter?

A Cloud's Love

2004-09-26T11:35:00.000+08:00

"Clouds are passing mass of vapours as we know, floating in the sky...never stopping & when the wind blows..it will always be moving on or drifting off"

There was once a love story of a cloud who was traveling with its gang of clouds, floating on with the wind, to the west.
1day,out of nowhere,he stumbled upon a beautiful creature on earth.
As He had seen so many prettier or even more beautiful creatures in his life, he dunno why he wasn’t attracted as much to them as to her...
From that day onwards,he knew he had fallen in love with the creature..
So he told his gang of frds,he had made a decision.
He had decided to stop drifting..but to provide tat creature with sunshine & rain over her & bringing joy and happiness to her.
Despite constant advices by his frds telling him that they're of different stature & that 1day,the strong wind may come & blow the clouds. He cant stay this way for long and will need to move on.. Along the way, prettier creatures will appear on earth & she/he will no longer be stable & firm with his heart..
Soon they will drift off with the wind & distraction…
But the cloud was firm with his decision and stay to seek his happiness…
As the days go by, the cloud and that creature became to chat alot & became close frds.
The creature enjoyed the company of the cloud, just as the cloud enjoyed hers.
The cloud did lots of things for that creature, just as the creature did too & showed her affection for the cloud.
Frds around them were envious of their fairytale story of loving one another & seen how much affection was given into each other but there was no mutual communication by either of them whether they should be together & move on to a deeper stage of their r/s.
This went On,& True enuff,the strong wind came, more clouds came by the way & prettier creatures appear on earth,come and go…
The creature made many frds,just as the cloud too~
But in the heart of the cloud, he was firm ,& he knew his heart will only go out to the creature..
Yet both parties nv said anything & seeing the creature enjoying e company of her new found frds and attractions, there was lesser time for them to talk & communicate..
Then 1day he began to wonder,”so where are we? & Should I move on, as frds say? Seeing her so happy with her frds, maybe 1day she will find her true happiness somewhere among them bah…”
In the end, truly one day, the cloud moved on and drifted off with the wind…

Moral of the Story:In Love, it needs constant Mutual Heart Devotion & Mutual Communication that u love one another to grow and move on Or else there will be no Foundation in the r/s. Between a couple, this is important as a r/ship cannot be just based on feelings eg,"I feel that I like him/her as she/her like me..mmm..becoz we had hugged or hold hand or kissed…so I think we are bfgf liao bah & we can last & love forever…"This type of feelings will not do..
U got to go find out more about loving one another besides the physical apsects as feelings can be misunderstood & feelings are deceiving~
One day u feel u like her/him, one day u don’t….then how?
That's liking, not love & when 1day, trials or struggles (the strong wind) or distractions come about the way in the r/s,Without mutual affirmation and communication,the love will just be shaken & drifted off…
So treasure ur loved ones around u..cherish them…verbalize your love~
Stop being stubborn or egoistic, Guys~
Even just a simple phrase like “I Miss u” to the person u like, will make his/her day.
That's the power of a lovin word spoken with concern n sincerity.
It can make a difference,bringing love & affection to one’s soul~
As e saying goes n i truly believe in dis though i'm a ger,
"It’s better to lose your pride to some1 you love, than to lose some1 u love becoz of your pride.."

p.s. thanx to mike's post heh i managed to get an excerpt here.. it's so meaningful oh esp ur favourite phrase ;)
Dearest FV : simply 3 words ~ I'll Cherish U

~i'M bAck!~

2004-09-10T16:22:00.000+08:00

hehe it's been quite some time since i blogged.. hmm lotsa tings happened yupx.. n jux as an update to daily life.. haha it's been reali
P E A C E F U L keke.. yupx.. tings have been going my way despite e usual disturbances.. yupx.. Just loved e way life is like dis...in a sense dat i'm feelin so C A R E F R E E perhaps due to e holiday mood which i need to get rid of soon.. *sObz* yupx.. but reali happy cox aft which it's gonna b FV's turn for hols.. yupx.. haha guess we're gonna make e best outta it..

yupx.. i reali do tink dat sometimes each one of us ought to tk a break fr evrythin... be it fr work, study or even fr life.. can't always be so headstrong n wanna charge ur way thru out.. cox eventuali.. u'd collapse n til den u gotta wait on ppl instead.. so it's reali impt to hv a rest for rejuvenation, play n relaxation den get back on track to be more efficient in handling all matters.. so it's not reali e race for time sometimes cox us, being only humans... reali deserve a break n hv a Kit-Kat munCh! ;)

Song to Recommend

2004-08-26T15:09:00.000+08:00

~Tata Young - Cinderella~

When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed
and she read me a story
It always was about a Princess in distress
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory
I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me
(Chorus)
I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no-one elseI'd rather rescue myself
Someday I'm gonna find someone who wants my soul, heart and mind
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way I am
Don't need nobody taking care of me
I will be there for him just as strong as he, will be there for me
When I give myself then it has got to be, an equal thing
(Chorus)
I can slay, my own dragon
I can dream, my own dreams
My knight in shining armour is me
So I'm gonna set me free
(Chorus)

Psst..Shh.. yupx enjoy dis' song peeps.. hehe.. it's playin while u're readin dis entry.. yeah.. listen up eh!

LikE/Love? u Choose(+)(-)

2004-08-26T14:35:00.000+08:00

[LiKe]

(+)In front of the him/her, Heart beats faster.
(+)Look into the eyes of him/her, You Blush.
(+)Facing him/her, U can't say everything on your mind.
(+)U tend to get shy with Him/Her around.
(+)When He/She is crying, U end up comforting.
(+)The feeling of Like starts from the Ear...
(+)So if you stop liking a person you used to, all you need to do is to cover your ears...

[LoVe]
(-)In front of him/her, Winter seems like Spring.
(-)Look into the eyes of him/her, You smile.
(-)Facing him/her, U can say everything on your mind.
(-)You can show your True self with Him/Her around.
(-)When He/She is crying, You cry along.
(-)The feeling of Love starts from the Eye...
(-)So if you stop loving a person, try to close your eyes, U'll find that Love turns into a drop of Tear and remains in your heart Forever...

Psst..Shh.. wonder if this entry helped u to differentiate btw e love/like anot, but nonetheless, i guess it's still worth a reference xP i particularly like e part when it says how love started, yes fr e eyes n as for like it sprung fr e ears i.e. ppl's hearsay or swt-nothings spoken... One sad reality is dat u can't cover your ears n shun away from e person u love coz eventually u'll find that u'd just break down into tears which will flow back to your heart once again n that's when it hurts e most...

~Fate~

2004-08-11T12:44:00.000+08:00

Been so Long since i Blogged n FV sorta reminded me.. heh.. ya been kinda lazy these days to really blog on somethin meningful heh... xP so for all those readin muah blog, sori abt dat eh?

keke today i'm kinda inspired to write smth on fate.. ya.. F.A.T.E

Got dis' quote fr my cousin's blog:-
Fate loves to play with toys , throwing them HIGH up and letting them FALL down.
Only now , we are the toys.

Ya.... no doubt... most of us r manipulated by fate... in one way or another...
Though how much we try to take charge of our lives.. somehow or other, we'll lose n eventually succumb to fate as it seems yet.. if u see life as a deck of cards, The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play is free will.... Quoted from Jawaharial Nehru

Contradicting views ain't it? But if u look at it fr both sides, u will find that it is equally true as well.. Ultimately, u r still given a chance to take your own life on stride... so for all who's always blaming fate for the misery n mishaps occuring, perhaps u should look within yourself n e way u have been handling ur own lives cozz there's a high possibility that fate does only play a minor role in your lives... And realise that e ultimate culprit might be just U.. Indeed.. Time for some serious Self-Reflection.. With dis' i quote fr Kin Hubbard - "Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny."
Hence do challenge fate even if it means u to lose, boost ur courage n utmost confidence n put on a fight.. for ur life.. for urself :)

Oh ok.. so much so for fate playing a part in our lives.. gee.. did i miss something out? heh.. i guess so... the much agreed role of fate in our personal relationships... yeah.. ppl always say: "out of the millions n i found u"; "fate brought us here together"; "i believe in fate" But what exactly is Fate? Fate is that which is inevitably predetermined; destiny.. So do ppl mean that every person we come across, every person who touched our hearts, every person who made ur heart beat faster each time he/she comes close, is a doing of fate?

Dis i can't deny... I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, ur heart beats for a reason; u breathe for a reason; u study/work for a reason; u smile for a reason... So it must be fate then... especially so when it comes to rships i guess... Reason being that I do believe that it is just too much of a coincidence don't u think if u keep bumping into the same person each time; if u keep running away fr the person just to find urself running on the spot in his/her shadow? Fate does play a part undeniably.. else what made u think u could find ur soulmate in e midst of the many ppl who passed u by or let u down?

As they said, some things r pre-determined n some ppl are just meant to be... hee... it's just like the ancient chinese belief that there is a "Yue Xia Lao Ren" who actually does match-making in heaven for every individual soul on earth by bonding imaginary red-strings on the pre-determined couple's feets till the day they meet.. Though it's most likely a myth.. some ppl still choose to believe that there must b a special someone out there waiting for him/her... hee ya ppl like me... haha... but not so much for the belief though just e thought of it that someone out there is falling in love with my smile? *sounds familiar?* hehe ya n i chose to believe in it... u can too.. it feels better when u have something to hope for.. cozz i sincerely think that there will be another person just like "U" who wants to give u as much love as u wished for.. so do let fate determine the ppl u will get to meet n urself to make the decision u want to make ultimately :)
So, u guys gotta be thankful to fate as well for all the happiness u gained by being with e special someone n sadly urself to b blamed shld a rship fail.. I hope ppl could understand dis n dat Fate never did fail U...

With Dis', i Dedicate this poem entitled Fate penned by Sandy to all of u...

Fate
I look up at the sky at night and I can see
The star-filled sky stretching way out over me;
And I get a feeling I'm not truly free
But that something out there shapes my destiny
Sometimes I feel I am the master of my fate
And so when I go I never hesitate;
But then this foreign feeling seems to take control
And I begin to wonder what possessed my soul?
Do I make my choices strictly on my own,
Or am I being guided by some force unknown?
And why would some great power even bother to
Meddle in affairs of such as me and you?
Am I a part of something I can't comprehend,
Part of some great means that leads us to some end?
Or is it just a feeling stemming from within
Because of who I am and, maybe, where I've been?
The answers are there somewhere in the universe,
To whether life here will get better or get worse;
But I can only try real hard to pass the test
And leave it to the "Great Ones", now, to do the rest.

Psst..Ssshh: FV, hope u like dis entry ;) i Sincerely Thank Fate for u in my life too! xP and for ppl who showed utmost concern n gave me true friendship.. U know who u r *wiNks*

~Realisation~

2004-08-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

it's always at e pt of time when all of a sudden.. u'd realise dat tings aren't always as it seems.. ppl aint always wat u deem them to be.. bondings aint necessarily unbreakable.. feelings aint always stagnant n yes..change is the only constant.. Many a time, ppl don't know how to keep their feelings at hold, don't know how to realise what in life that they really want n what ppl are they really scared of losing..

We all live in a world of uncertainty, ppl come n go.. feelings evolve, perceptions differed everytime new events occurred.. It's like at one time, u're much cherished yet at e other, u've already been opted out unknowingly...

Relationships r fragile, or rather most are.. be it, friendship, love, family.. To maintain n to ensure things will stay e same, it's really dependent on the members involved, their every move, their every word spoken, every smile displayed, every tear dropped, every silent whisper, every twitch of the eye... coz u'll never know when someone, somewhere turns his/her back on u & u fail to get back on ur kness...

So.. i shall end with dis to the whole lot of u out there..

Be true to thee n thy soul no regrets...

Psst..Sssh : Treat everyone u see with sincerity, don't let anyone down n cherish each n every individual as a potential stayer in ur heart... ultimately bonding with friends u can call upon n leading a life w/o regrets of e past...
With a kind n truthful heart, thou shall be rewarded with Goodness in life ^-^

~Pixel Adoptions~

2004-07-23T12:03:00.000+08:00

hi all! heh.. been kinda bz to write an entry in muah blog these days.. heh.. yupx.. so jux got u all a story of "A Kind Gesture" n to tell u all abt my pixel adoptions.. *heh*

Adopted many pixels yesterday n categorised them under
-->Fruit Basket
-->Food Treats
-->Mystical World
-->Animals
-->Misc
-->Kao's Playland
n a special category 4 FV n SV
-->FV + SV World

so feel free to tk a look at e cute pixels i've adopted under the top right hand column when u scroll down.. yupx.. they're REAL CUTE! ^-^

P.s. FV, keke hope u like e pixels under OUR column xP speacially for u wor.. i particularly like e 2 babies on e moon, e wedding de n e last kao pixel where there r 2 kaos tgt.. hee i named it "The cutest Kao Couple"

~A Kind Gesture~

2004-07-23T11:58:00.000+08:00

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?" "You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit. Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.

Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk."
(Signed)
Dr. Howard Kelly.

P.s. a really meaningful story i muz say.. yupz.. kindness really pays :)

~FV n SV Jap Names~

2004-07-18T12:58:00.000+08:00

look wat i've got here *keke*

muah Jap name is Hamano (seaside field) Ayumi (walk, deeper meaning: walk your own way)

FV, ur jap name is Fujiwara (wisteria fields) Amon (asian gates)

keke cool aint it? hee.. we both got smth similar, dat is we both hv "field" in it? xP

for anyone who's interested to find out ur jap names, check out dis webby
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/969/

p.s. tink my name sounds reali similar to ayumi hamasaki haha but mine is Ayumi Hamano..
gee.. tink Hamasaki sounds better though xP
keke jux 4 fun, peace n laughter *heh*

*Gifts Sent With a Purpose*